Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
