The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
