RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
