I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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