So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
