holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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