she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Two words: blizzard sex
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
