i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
