I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
