my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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