Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
