Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
