We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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