Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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