When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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