i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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