Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
