I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize