If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
