..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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