Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
