I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
