I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
