You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
