And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
