Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize