I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
