So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
