you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize