I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
