He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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