Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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