rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
