in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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