she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
