Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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