Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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