is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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