why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
