I just gift wrapped bread.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize