His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
