distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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