I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
