Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
