Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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