yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
