Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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