yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
