i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm at about main and main street
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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