I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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