Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
