So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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