I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
