Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I supernannyed him into submission
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
