Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
