he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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