i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
