i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
