nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize