he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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