Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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