Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
