You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
