just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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