That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
