We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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