What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
