5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
