Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
