Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
