I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize